Russian hospitality during the time of Ivan the Terrible, from a painting by Schwartz |
“Eating, and hospitality in general, is a communion, and any meal worth attending by yourself is improved by the multiples of those with whom it is shared.” Jesse Browne |
Omotenashi A Very Japanese Hospitality
Any foreigner who has lived in Japan for an extended period of time will have been asked this question: "What's your favorite Japanese word?" In my own case I have often answered the enquiry with omotenashi and, without exception, my reply has garnered instant murmurs of approval. The tacit implication is that I have "understood." But what, exactly, is it?
Japanese Tea Ceremony |
Omotenashi is a singularly difficult word to define, let alone translate. It is very close to the Western phrase 'Hospitality', yet it is palpably something else, one of those semi-mystical Japanese keywords that seem to tap into the very heart of the Japanese cultural DNA, yet remain somehow beyond literal explanation. One of my personal favorite attempts to decipher its meaning, comes from an unlikely source, the PR department of a major Japanese cosmetics corporation:
"Omotenashi is a word you have to translate with your heart" says their copy, "It is a subtle connection in which trust, pleasure and respect are interwoven in an approach steeped in a natural sense of deference; an exquisite approach to the art of receiving guests." Not a bad stab at it, methinks.
My own attempt goes something like this: "Omotenashi describes an atmosphere of conviviality and welcome in which individual needs and preferences are catered to impeccably, and of which an essential element is the unobtrusive, meticulous attention to detail. The term is primarily used in modern Japan in the hospitality and service industries, most notably in high-end hotels and restaurants, though its use is not exclusive to those trades; it may even be used to describe the hospitality found in the confines of a private home."
"Omotenashi is a word you have to translate with your heart" says their copy, "It is a subtle connection in which trust, pleasure and respect are interwoven in an approach steeped in a natural sense of deference; an exquisite approach to the art of receiving guests." Not a bad stab at it, methinks.
My own attempt goes something like this: "Omotenashi describes an atmosphere of conviviality and welcome in which individual needs and preferences are catered to impeccably, and of which an essential element is the unobtrusive, meticulous attention to detail. The term is primarily used in modern Japan in the hospitality and service industries, most notably in high-end hotels and restaurants, though its use is not exclusive to those trades; it may even be used to describe the hospitality found in the confines of a private home."
The Protector of Hospitality? The Greek god Zeus:
Abusing a defenceless stranger is disgraceful. Strangers are especially protected by the gods in many cultures; In ancient Greece, Zeus himself is called Xenios, Protector of Hospitality |
Hospitality in Homer’s Time
Hospitality in Homer’s time was well shown through long travels such as
Odysseus' in The Odyssey as well as the guest-friend relationship,
known as xenia. There are many possible reasons why hospitality was
more prevalent in those times. Traveling in Homer’s time was much more
extensive and lengthier than in modern times. The less advanced methods
of transportation used in Homeric times, such as by boat or by foot,
were much slower than modern forms of transportation. Because of this,
many more nights were spent away from home in many different
locations. Also, there were not hotels or inns where travelers could
pay and stay the night. Even if there were, travelers probably could
not afford to pay for every night they were gone. Because of this,
travelers had to rely on the hospitality of others for shelter, food,
and protection. There was, however, some payment for this hospitality
in the form of a gift exchange. Another possible reason for this
hospitality was the fact that there were not nations that would allow
travelers to enter their territory safely. Without such hospitality,
strangers could be captured or even killed for entering a foreign land.
The Greek guest-friendship xenia may have been formed from this. Xenia
is the Greek relationship between two people from different regions.
This allowed for the members of the relationship to safely travel into
the other member’s territory and receive a place to stay and something
to eat. Another possible explanation for the amount of hospitality
shown is that the Greeks believed the gods wanted them to show
hospitality to anyone who showed up at their homes. It was also
believed that turning away someone and not providing them this
hospitality would result in some form of punishment from the gods.
Finally, hospitality could have been used to spread ones name and bring
them a sense of fame if they would provide a high standard of
hospitality to strangers.
It also could have been a way to show how
wealthy one was. These can be shown from this quote from The Odyssey: “Come,
friend, and give me something; for you seem to be no lowly man among
the Greeks, but their most noble lord-indeed a chief. So you should
offer more than others can-I’d make you famous then in endless lands.
I, too, was once a man of means; my house was rich; I often gave to
vagabonds, whoever they might be, who came in need”.
Is hospitality as customary now as it was in Homer’s time, and if not,
why? It seems as though modern people do show hospitality towards
others, but in a different way than those in Homeric times. It is not
custom anymore to provide food, protection, and shelter to a stranger
that arrives at someone’s door. This could be because there are hotels
and restaurants almost anywhere one can go. There is no need to for
someone to ask for these. Also, protection is not a large concern for
most travelers, especially in the United States. Hospitality is still
shown, however, in modern society. For example, when someone’s car
breaks down most people would welcome them into their homes and help
them in any way they can without even asking who they are. Also, most
people know of someone, be it family or friend, in a different city that
would welcome them and provide them with a place to stay and food,
which is similar to the xenia in Homer’s time. Although the hospitality
customs of Homer’s time are not still around, there are similarities to
them and hospitality is still visible.
Fear of Gods
Throughout The Odyssey there are many ongoing themes, but one of the
most important themes of this story is the tradition of Greek
hospitality or xenia. This type of hospitality was very unique and it
played an important role in the ancient Greek society. As a matter of
fact, this kind of hospitality was so unique that it almost seems
unbelievable, because very few societies have behaved in this manner
towards their guests. From the very nature of this behavior, one can
easily come to the conclusion that the people of ancient Greek society
were truly hospitable. However, fear of the gods, rather than pure
decency, is a possible cause of the actions of ancient Greeks towards
their guests.
The hospitality of ancient Greek society is very clearly seen
throughout the Odyssey. During the travels of both Odysseus and
Telemacus, one can easily see how strangers were greeted and treated
upon their arrival to a new place. It seems as if strangers were
invited in for a feast, showered with gifts and luxuries, and then asked
who they were and what their business was. As anyone can see, this
type of hospitality is very unusual and distinctive. Not very many
cultures would treat strangers in this manner. Therefore we are led to
believe that there is some other reasoning behind all of this
generosity.
The people of ancient Greek society did not show all of this
hospitality solely out of the goodness of their hearts, but rather they
did it for the gods. During this time, hospitality was treated as a
test from the gods. In Book XIV, Eumaeus says: “for it is
Zeus who sends to us all beggars and strangers; and a gift, however
small, means much when given by a man like me…” This means that it is
the god Zeus who demands magnificent hospitality upon all mortals.
Since hosts had no way of knowing who their visitors were, they were
forced to treat every visitor as if they were a god. By treating every
guest like a god, there is no mistake of accidentally treating a god
differently, just in case one was to show up at their door disguised as a
stranger. This appears to be done through fear, not generosity.
The fear of the gods’ wrath is seen in many of Odysseus’ travels. Many
of the hosts ask Odysseus to pray for their happiness to the gods in
return for their hospitality. This leads us to believe that they only
shower him with gifts and feed him because it is what the gods want.
There is, however, an adventure where Odysseus is not shown good
hospitality. This adventure is the encounter with the Cyclops,
Polyphemus. When entering the cave of Polyphemus, Odysseus relies on
the expectation of hospitality and helps himself to food and shelter.
When Polyphemus returns, however, we see that he does not follow the
rules of Greek hospitality. The reason he does not abide by these rules
is because his father is the god Poseidon. He does not fear the wrath
of the gods because he feels his father will protect him.
As anyone can see, the people from ancient Greece were very hospitable.
It is possible, however, that this Greek hospitality comes from the
fear of the gods, and not only from pure politeness. Not only can this
be seen in the story of The Odyssey, but it can be seen in other ancient
Greek stories as well.
The Unwanted
There are many things in life that come unwanted, and there are also
things in life that we must do unwillingly. In The Odyssey, providing
hospitality often fell into these unwanted areas. There were instances
in this epic poem where Odysseus was offered and/or provided hospitality
that he did not necessarily want, and there was also one major
illustration of characters that felt obligated to provide hospitality
that they did not want to provide.
The fact that Odysseus wanted to get home to his wife, Penelope, and
his son, Telemachus, is undisputable. When speaking with Alcinous, he
once said, “…For if a man is far from his own home and parents, then
even if he is housed in opulence within that foreign land, no thing he
finds can be more sweet than what he left behind.” This
statement proves how Odysseus felt about the hospitality he had been
offered and/or provided, and how he much more longed to be home.
Calypso, a fair goddess, had wanted to keep Odysseus in her cavern as
her husband, but he refused. Círce also tried to keep Odysseus in her
halls and keep him there as her mate, but her attempts failed as well.
Although both of these women had fine homes and fine things to offer
him, their hospitality was too much for Odysseus. He instead left each
with the goal of returning to Ithaca and reclaiming his family and his
home.
Another case where hospitality came in an unwanted abundance was when
Telemachus encountered Nestor. It was here that Telemachus found
himself more welcome than he wanted. Nestor seemed to enjoy Telemachus’
company and entertained him by telling him many stories. While
Telemachus appreciated all the hospitality in this instance as well, he
just wanted to continue his journey and learn about his father’s
whereabouts.
Throughout his journey, Odysseus also begins to reject hospitality when
he finds himself encountering troubles at each place he comes to.
Eventually he is the only man left alive. When he first wakes up on the
island of Schería, he says, “What misery is mine? What mortals must I
meet in this new land that I now touch?” The
hospitality he is offered is unwanted because he has begun to question
the motives of the people he meets. He starts to wonder if they are
actually kind or if they are only trying to please the gods with their
hospitality.
On the opposite side, back at home, Telemachus and Penelope found
themselves feeling obligated to provide hospitality when they did not
necessarily want to. The suitors came to their home and expected proper
hospitality to be offered to them. Because of the importance of
hospitality back in those times, most people assumed it. In the case of
the suitors, however, there was a larger assumption made on their
part. When the suitors first showed up at the doors of the palace,
Penelope and Telemachus intended for them to stay for a feast or two.
The suitors more or less intruded and welcomed themselves far more than
Penelope and Telemachus had wanted them to. Even after the prophecy of
Halithérses, who said: “Odysseus…won’t stay away from those he holds
most dear; he is already near; and he has planted the seed of death and
slaughter for the suitors…”, the suitors remained in the
palace and continued to feast and try to impress Penelope until Odysseus
returned and slaughtered them.
Hospitality… Or Else!
Hospitality in today’s world has become little more than being friendly
and considerate to your guest. There are no universal rules for the
conduct of the host or the guest; much less a threat of violence if a
person does not behave in a certain manner. The Odyssey, takes its
reader to a very different world of rules and manners. In the story,
the importance of hospitality goes beyond being a gracious host; there
is a threat of violence if the host or guest does not fulfill their
responsibilities.
When Odysseus arrives on Kirké’s island, his men are being turned into
animals and he goes to confront the witch. On his way to met with her
Hermes advises him on how to deal with the witch. The ways in which
Odysseus must deal with Kirké is by threatening her with his sword.
There are a few factors that may have motivated Hermes to help Odysseus
confront Kirké. One very important reason is that the goddess was
violating the code of conduct between host and guest and not even a
goddess can violate the rules. From her confrontation with Odysseus,
Kirké was taught a lesson by the other gods so that she would become
more hospitable.
The meeting with the Cyclops, Polyphemos, is another violent example of
what happens with there is a violation between host/guest relations.
When the Cyclops decides to eat rather than welcome Odysseus and his
crew, the men poke his eye out. This event does not bother the gods at
all. The father of the Cyclops, Poseidon, is only upset by the event
because it was his son who was hurt. Zeus even praises Odysseus after
the event by claiming that, “There is no mortal half so wise”. This statement proves that violence was an acceptable answer when a
host was not gracious.
The most violent reaction to the disregard of the responsibilities
between a host and his guests occurs when the suitors are killed. These
men were not only killed with the gods’ permission, but they were
killed with the help of the gods. Even when Odysseus wants to warn
Amphînomos, the only suitor with honest intentions, he is bound to the
palace by Athena.
Violent penalties for not respecting the “rules” of hospitality are not
only found in the world of the ancient Greeks. In the biblical story
of Sodom and Gomorra three angels search in the city for someone who
will welcome them into their home. When they do not find anyone inside
the city, they travel to the home of Abraham. According to the story,
Abraham was recovering from a circumcision and in a great deal of pain
when he saw the strangers. Even with his pain he welcomed the strangers
and was saved from the destruction of the city.
In both the Bible and The Odyssey violent penalties are given as a
threat to anyone who is not hospitable and accommodating to their
guest. Because of this, it is not difficult to see that hospitality was
one of the most important aspects to both societies.
Given and Received
Our next instance of hospitality occurs on the island of the Cyclops.
The Cyclops meets Odysseus and his crew with undesirable hospitality.
Although not without cause the Cyclops’ reaction and subsequent actions
against Odysseus and his crew ultimately resulted in an attack on him.
Although the hospitality of the Cyclops was objectionable the reaction
of Odysseus, in the form of blinding the Cyclops, brings only more
trouble onto himself. Since the Cyclops was Poseidon’s son Poseidon was
angered and brought about more problems for Odysseus and his crew.
Just like with the suitors, undesirable hospitality and a bad reception
of that hospitality ultimately results in a break in the sacred guest
host relationship.
Next we shall look at Odysseus’ stay on the island of Calypso. Here
he is met with exceptional hospitality. Odysseus received this
hospitality well and continued to please Calypso. Only at the end did
he ever try to refuse her hospitality and leave, and even this caused no
serious problems. Here we have an example of the guest-host
relationship working well. Calypso is provided with a companion, even
if it was not permanent, and Odysseus was provided with shelter,
provisions, and protection for his men. In the end it proves to be a
beneficial situation for them both.
Odysseus and Hospitality to Strangers
Our world could scarcely be more different from that of Odysseus (Ulixes, Ulysses) in The Odyssey.
"Tell me, O Muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide
after he had sacked the famous town of Troy. Many cities did he visit,
and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was
acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save
his own life and bring his men safely home ...."
and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was
acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save
his own life and bring his men safely home ...."
Odyssey Book - In the World of Odysseus Gods Walked Among Men
It's not so much that gods walked and talked among mortals -- although today there are sometimes dire consequences for people claiming to hear divine voices.
"A certain man has been abroad many years; he is alone, and the god Poseidon keeps a hostile eye on him. At home the situation is that suitors for his wife's hand are draining his resources and plotting to kill his son. Then, after suffering storm and shipwreck, he comes home, makes himself known, attacks the suitors: he survives and they are destroyed."
-Aristotle's summary of The Odyssey according to Robert Fagles on the PBS March 13, 1997 Online News Hour.
In the World of Odysseus There Were Fantastic Temptresses
Nor does the difference lie in the existence of monsters and fantastic, villainous temptresses like the Sirens, Circe, or Calypso. Such vixens hardly seem out of place today with our daily dose of television and tabloids.
"First you will come to the Sirens
who enchant all who come near them. If any one unwarily draws in too
close and hears the singing of the Sirens, his wife and children
will never welcome him home again...."
Odyssey XII
The Important Difference is Hospitality
In antiquity children read and memorized the Epics of Homer (Iliad and Odyssey) because they showed patterns and standards of behavior citizens were expected to emulate. Among these was the all-important ethic of hospitality.
Etiquette vs. Safety
Today, if we're wise, we don't open our bolted doors to strangers without proof of identity, we fear hitch-hikers, and we expect visitors to bring a dish or bottle of wine when they come for a visit. Rules of etiquette require us to make our guests feel at home, but not to make people we don't know our guests.
Strangers are the bogey-men we warn our children about. This hasn't always been the case.
Before the advent of coins, credit cards, Motel 6, and McDonalds, hospitality to strangers saved lives.
Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
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